Aldi After All

Shit’s been busy lately.

So sometimes the easiest thing to do is set up an Instacart pickup order and have my husband go get it.

But seriously what fun is that? No browsing? No seeing what’s on sale? No noticing some new treat that I wouldn’t know to order?

Also despite our best efforts we ALWAYS forget something. ALWAYS.

So today was a fill-in trip where I went INTO the store with a short list.

And the number one thing on my list? Almond milk.

SOMETIMES I use Instacart just as a general idea of what the store might have in stock. It’s wrong a lot of the time, but it’s right just enough to help me make plans. It’s more likely to say something is THERE when it’s not than to say something is out of stock when it’s THERE.

{Digression: My day job allows me a great deal of insight into things like this. I know too much, is what I’m saying….}

ANYWAY, IC said the store was out of almond milk in my preferred configuration. “NBD,” I say to myself. “Either this is wrong OR I’ll just get another configuration - like vanilla, or regular-sweetened, or organic.” WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!

You know where this is leading, perhaps. The almond milk is at the END of the path through the store, so first I bought about 100 other things - and YES, I followed my list but also NO I DID NOT. And then the entire almond milk section was EMPTY. ALL OF IT. (Don’t tell me to DIY almond milk, I’m not gonna. I like it in my coffee. Mind yer biz.)

ALSO. Pumpkin bread wasn’t on my list, but bourbon caramel whipped cream was - clearly I was already IN A MOOD. Yes, I got some produce to fill in gaps, and yes, I got a block of feta to make The InternetViralRecipe Feta+Eggs (heh), but I also bought a lot of TRASH FOOD and I don’t care what the orthorexics think about that.

(Another digression - I’m so tired of the food police commenting on every corner of the Internet. I shouldn’t make fun of orthorexia because it’s VERY REAL and VERY SERIOUS. But also, shut up and let that lady buy Cheetos and let that man buy IDK - something you think is “toxic“ - and let that VEGAN be LESS VEGAN THAN YOU THINK HE SHOULD BE OHMYGOD.) (I expect I’ll be saying things like this in future posts as well.)

So anyway I picked up a present for a friend who is grieving because I’m bad at grief but very good at support and treats.

But I still don’t have almond milk.

So I have to go to Publix later.

The end.

(This newsletter is a) free b) random c) an outlet for me. If you wanna tell people to subscribe, you should.)

(The picture I chose - that may or may not show up in the email but should show up on the web version - is just a pic I took AT the store because it’s the only pic I have on hand right now. If you’re wondering, I didn’t buy those flavors of fizzy water - today. To be clear - I didn’t buy them today, I bought them a while ago because fuck you. The pumpkin pie one is pretty good. I hated the apple one.)